Where am I going? Sometimes it is hard to see what it is going to happen. Sometimes, in one's lifetime, it is a wall that one has in front of him. It is the case for me these days. Since the incident I went through, I don't know where I am going to. It seems that there is nothing for me in the future. It seems that I don't have anything in view and that nothing will happen. It is not a call for help or a desperate call but I feel that there isn't anything that will happen to me, at least something positive. I will not give up nor stop trying to find jobs or consulting missions but it is a hard moment to go through. And I have to realize that in a few days I'll have more work to do and therefore I'll be busy and we'll make more money. I still hope that the project with News Group International will take place and that I'll be working with them. I still hope that a company will hire me. I still hope that I'll get consulting missions. It seems to me that the incident I went through was a warning that I have to take seriously. Of course, I'll do all the tests to understand, or try to understand what has happened to me and to cure it. I do think that it is my head that is inventing things that are happening to me and that I am still living in the USA. I do love the USA and hope to go back there for good but for the moment as I am here I must try hard to find other income and a good job. I need also to make enough money in order to be able to have our own apartment. We need to be at home, to have a normal life and also to be able to travel. Because I love traveling and since I have been here I haven't been able to travel for leisure. The money problem is serious and it makes our life miserable. However we shouldn't let ourselves be influenced, negatively, by the situation. At the same time, I need to overcome my health problem by seeing the future more brightly than it appears.
This coming month, I'll have more work and I'll be able to do what I wanted to do: to rent an apartment and to live peacefully with my wife.
How hard it has been for the last 12 years. Once again, I made a mistake by leaving the USA for something that I saw quickly as a scheme organized by an incompetent and mythomaniac person. The other mistake is to have stayed in Morocco when I realized that nothing good would come out from the project. I should have gone back to the USA, find a job and bring my wife there.
Now 12 years or so after, I am here and even though I don't like France and French, I am here and I must get over it and work hard. I need to go on looking for good things to do, more money to make and live more happily than now.
Plus what the USA gave me is optimism. I will never give up looking for a better job in order to make more money and to get rid of our problems.
This coming month, I'll have more work and I'll be able to do what I wanted to do: to rent an apartment and to live peacefully with my wife.
How hard it has been for the last 12 years. Once again, I made a mistake by leaving the USA for something that I saw quickly as a scheme organized by an incompetent and mythomaniac person. The other mistake is to have stayed in Morocco when I realized that nothing good would come out from the project. I should have gone back to the USA, find a job and bring my wife there.
Now 12 years or so after, I am here and even though I don't like France and French, I am here and I must get over it and work hard. I need to go on looking for good things to do, more money to make and live more happily than now.
Plus what the USA gave me is optimism. I will never give up looking for a better job in order to make more money and to get rid of our problems.
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